Jan. 5th, 2005

ellarien: bookshelves (books)
I've spent the last three years rationing my book purchases and whittling down the backlog. It stands at 49 right now, and I already filled the January quota for acquisitions.

The trouble is, there are about half a dozen books I want to buy right now, and the quota is spoken for through at least July. It's been a rough week, and I have this dreadful desire just to go down to the University bookstore and splurge. And thereby, give up control over the one thing in my life that feels somewhat under control at the moment.

I really don't need more books. It isn't even that I want to read those particular books this instant, though I do worry that they might go away if I don't secure them now. Maybe, somewhere inside, I don't really want the backlog to go away; it feels like security, at least against boredom. (And anyone who's seen what I pack for a journey knows I dread boredom far worse than hunger or discomfort or suboptimal grooming.)

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Reading, writing, plant photography, and the small details of my life, with digressions into science and computing.

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